Anna Kate Update

Anna Kate continues to amaze me.  She is so thoughtful and sharing.  She really is Mommy's little helper.  She picks up shoes and toys.  She helps me wipe down the kitchen after supper.  When we were in China, she had the funniest laugh.  It was a soft whisper - "he, he, he".  This wonderful laugh has returned.  She really got into Bennett's birthday party.  She sang "Happy Birthday" to Bennett regularly leading up to his party.  After the party at night when we are typically giving hugs and kisses, she runs to Bennett's room and says "Happy Birthday Bennett" as if to say "Good Night."  It was hilarious.  She continued to do this for a week after his party.  Bennett would correct her at first, but then we would just laugh.

About April, I was really happy we had gotten to a great place with her.  She responded to correction and discipline well.  She had not had any serious, never ending meltdowns in a while.  I had not seen any violence or aggression towards anyone at school or home in 6 months.  Although we are not certain of the trigger point, she has regressed.  We think it may be related to extra attention Bennett received related to his birthday party.  She has started to show aggression at school and towards Bennett.  The meltdowns of over an hour returned.  The nighttime struggles around bedtime and sleeping through the night resurfaced.  Having gone through this before with her, we are better equipped now.   During the frustration, God reminded me that you don't just forget your past you deal with it.  I was thinking that we had moved on from all the struggles.  However, the abandonment she endured does not go away.  She will always have struggles with the life she had before meeting us, the loss she felt and will feel with being abandoned, and also issues with us not being her birth mom and dad.  I cannot change those things, but I can help her know God's love and how precious she is.  She is a blessing.  I may never know what she went through, but I know I carry my own personal experiences, hardships, and loss that affect me from time to time.  So how would I expect a two-year-old to have moved on in one years time.  Sounds silly when you think about it. 

Adoption is such a process from beginning with paperwork, attachment, and life long battle with the past.  I don't regret ever making the decision to adopt.  I will say I am changed for the better.  My relationship with God is stronger than it has ever been.  I cannot make it through a day without His strength.  I have learned to celebrate the successes no matter how minor they may seem.  Adoption has taught me more about myself as a person and mom then I have learned in the 35 years prior.