Continuing on with my book review...
6. My unresolved grief may surface in anger toward you.
Triggers for adoptee anger are perceived rejection and fear.
7. I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me how to get in touch with my feelings about my adoption and then validate them.
Some ideas to help your child are holding newborns, building a grief box, creating a life book, writing letters to birth mom, and exposing them to other adoptees.
8. Just because I don't talk about my birth family doesn't mean I don't' think about them.
The book discuss how fantasy manifests in different age children. It may be searching for a familiar face, longing to be held, dreaming of the perfect family, seeking parent replacement figures, idealizing people, critical spirit, high expectations of self, fear of authority figures, and negative images.
9. I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family.
To best do this give permission for open dialogue, foster a non-competitive spirit with birth parents, and be confident as adoptive parents.
10. I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history. No matter how painful the details may be.
The best thing is to introduce the information about the birth family at the earliest stages.
11. I am afraid I was given away by my birth mother because I was a bad baby. I need you to help me dump my toxic shame.
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